Down to the river

A New Year's Tale from Craggy Island

Father Jack Hackett has escaped from Father Ted and is stumbling blind drunk through the woods, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.
Father Jack proceeds into the water, bumping into the preacher.
The preacher turns and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol. He asks Father Jack:"Are you ready to find Jesus?"
"Oi am."
The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks:"Brother, have you found Jesus?"
Father Jack growls "Oi haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again for a little longer.
Again he pulls him out of the water and asks:"Have you found Jesus, brother?"
"Oi haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher is at his wits end and dunks Father Jack again, but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds. When he begins kicking his arms and legs about, the preacher pulls him up.
He again asks:"For the love of God man, have you found Jesus?"
Father Jack staggers upright, wipes his eyes, splutters, and eyeballs the preacher:
"No! Are ye sure this is where he fell in???"

"Down to the River to Pray"  Alison Krauss