"Be gentle with yourself"

"Be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be - keep peace with your soul."

 

What did you write in your Christmas cards this year? What you write every year? Something about "all good wishes and we really must meet up in 2013"? In the midst of what we ironically call the "festive rush", precious sentiments and heartfelt wishes are rattled off like the proverbial Christmas shopping list.
In 1965, a prose poem called "The Desiderata", Latin for "Desired Things", became widely known as a devotional text, after being found by the death-bed of Adlai Stevenson II. Stevenson was a United States presidential candidate and a United Nations ambassador. He had planned to reproduce The Desiderata in his Christmas cards that year. He may have heard the text previously, when it was included in a compilation of devotionals in 1959 by the Reverend Kates, rector of St Paul's Church, Baltimore.
Written by American author and attorney Max Ehrmann in 1927, the text was largely unknown in his lifetime; he died in 1945. He would later be celebrated for his work; aside from The Desiderata, he often wrote on spiritual themes. The poem has been widely reproduced in poster form over the years, also featuring on many spoken-word recordings: people have often wrongly assumed that the text must be so old as to be beyond any copyright. In 1967, Leonard Nimoy, "Mr Spock" himself, recited the poem on his "Star Trek" themed album; he titled the track "Spock's Thoughts".
If I could send a Christmas card to anyone who has read this little blog since February, these are the words I would reproduce: these are the finest sentiments I could wish for you, whatever the season. Perhaps most poignantly at this time of year, amidst the hustle of shopping and decorating, gifting and anticipating, the awesome preening and the whole exhausting business of having fun, we need to remember "what peace there may be in silence".Every line of this poem resonates with me, I find it achingly beautiful: I hope you will receive it with the kind intent with which it is wished for each one of you.
Max Ehrmann is buried in his hometown of Terre Haute, Indiana. In 2010, he was honoured there with a life-sized statue bronze, which features him sat on a bench down-town, with his trusty pen and notebook. The Desiderata is engraved on a plaque next to the sculpture. What a gift, at any time of year, to have given voice (and subsequently thousands of voices) to the tender wisdom that the soul is capable of and was intended for.

*Passer-by, stranger or friend: I pray that you've had a kind Christmas and that you look forward to a brave New Year*

"The Desiderata"

(Max Ehrmann)

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

"Silent Night"  Stevie Nicks

"Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."



Ramon and the dragonflies

"One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own."

(John O'Donohue)

Ramon E. Kinkade became my friend online after reading my blog, within the very first weeks of me putting fingertip to keyboard. A seasoned blogger himself, he loved the written word, music, dance, photography and other artistry. I realised pretty quickly that being online had opened up a new world for him following chronic illness. I also learned that he was lively-minded and passionate about many things, especially his family and his Scottish heritage: he told me he was arranging a trip to from his native Indiana to Scotland next year for a reunion of the Kinkade Clan.
He frequently mentioned his sons, his "boys", and Sharon, his beloved wife of forty nine years; he was obviously a born romantic and a proud dad and grandfather. Among his many achievements, he had that particular talent for friendship, a generosity of spirit. He read the post I wrote about my parents' love story and said he was touched; he prayed that I would be found by a decent man who believed in God and who would also believe in me and help me to believe in myself...
He said he felt I had unseen and unspoken links with the States and hoped I would visit one day. He encouraged me to carry on writing and pondered why I wasn't working on a newspaper or magazine - I wish, Ramon! When I admitted to him that I was feeling despondent that the blog wasn't known by more people, he assured me that he and Sharon really enjoyed reading my little paeans or tirades, depending on mood. He told me that if only one person thought I had written the best book in the world, then I had definitely written one of the best books in the world.
I was shocked when he eventually mentioned his longstanding health problems: Ramon was not only a glass-half-full kinda guy; his glass was one of nectar. Online, his signature "totem" was a dragonfly; I asked him why only recently. He told me that he had been out rowing with his mother when he was a small lad and had seen a dragonfly for the first time. He watched, fascinated, as the dragonfly lava, the "nymph" split it's skin to emerge as an exotic but friendly looking creature, glimmering in the sunlight.
Most of a dragonfly's life is spent in the nymph form, beneath water, with the larval stage lasting as long as four or five years for larger creatures. The lava begins to breath when exposed to air. The skin splits, the adult dragonfly crawls out, pumps up it's two pairs of wings and flies off. The dragonfly's adult life may be comparatively short, five or six months, but it is certainly brilliant. The dragonfly in flight can propel itself in six directions; upward, downward, forward, back, and side to side. Ramon himself had been an aircraft repairman and was a private pilot; one of his boys is now an airline pilot. Ramon told me that although they were not usually good walkers, dragonflies are among the fastest creatures on earth, with larger insects reaching flight speeds of up to 60 miles per hour. Often incredibly beautiful and intricately marked, they've long been a symbol of life beyond death in many cultures.
A huge lover of nature, Ramon enjoyed raising pigeons and other birds; one son is now a professional breeder. I've also discovered that he skated professionally and had been a professionally instructor; all three of his boys won state competitions in artistic dance. He certainly encouraged his sons in artistic pursuits as well as the athletics which he himself excelled in. And he encouraged me that every situation could be reinterpreted, that beauty and joy were everywhere, that strangers really could be friends you just hadn't met yet.
I will never meet Ramon in person now. His family contacted all his online friends last week to say that Ramon had passed away on 9th December, from complications arising from CPOD (Chronic Pulmonary Obstructive Disease). Lucid and caring to his last breath, Ramon asked his family to contact his online community and told them what they should say: "His interests in life survive".
This blog will be a year old on 15th February 2013: my blogger friendship with Ramon was brief but I was moved that anything I wrote coold touch a man with such a vibrantly resounding and colour-filled life. I was going to close the blog after a year due to disillusionment but I feel I might just keep it open now. I feel a lot of things now might just happen; they might not all be disastrous or distressing. Among other people, Ramon has convinced me that I should write if and what I want to; if someone, anyone likes it or finds it moving or interesting, then that's the icing on my own homemade cake.
Ramon sent his friends music links, across all the genres and decades. I discovered that we both loved the Israel Kamakawiwo'le merged version of two classically uplifting songs; and it is indeed a wonderful world full of wonderful people and creatures.

 *Rest well Ramon and may your flight be sure and safe*

"The Dragonfly"
(Louise Bogan)
You are made of almost nothing,
But of enough
To be great eyes
And diaphanous double vans;
To be ceaseless movement,
Unending hunger,
Grappling love.
Link between water and air,
Earth repels you.
Light touches you only to shift into iridescence
Upon your body and wings.
Twice-born, predator,
You split into the heat.
Swift beyond calculation or capture
You dart into the shadow
Which consumes you.
You rocket into the day,
But at last, when the wind flattens the grasses,
For you, the design and purpose stop.
And you fall
With the other husks of summer.

                               

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What a Wonderful World"  Israel Kamakawiwo'le

 

"Inspiration is always a surprising visitor."

(John O'Donohue)

With a beneficient eye

"Treat the earth well;

it was not given to you by your parents,

it was loaned to you by your children." 

(Native American proverb)

I'm indebted to the lovely Anne, who has enabled me to slip a post in before Christmas which includes a gorgeous Native American blessing, my favourite version of one of the most beautiful tunes ever and an excuse to mention Jimmy Stewart. Yes, that Jimmy Stewart.
Anne is apparently a little bit Cherokee and a little bit Iroquois as well as being a lot of Oirish. She's a ginger too; I like to think that her particular genetic blend means she likes the wearing of the feathers when she's in a good mood but will surely spit some when she's rattled. She enjoyed the post on here about the feast of Thanksgiving and has sent me a beautiful Iroquois prayer and the "Sacred Instructions", holy commandments really, which the Native American people believe were handed down from the Great Spirit at the time of the Creation. I'm very drawn to the Native American heritage and beliefs which have a richness as well as a simplicity; I've added a couple of my own favourite sayings here, I hope Anne won't mind.

Her mother's ancestors lived in West Virginia, home of the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Shenandoah River and it's valley, Appalachian bluegrass music. Yet another place I've long romanticised in my head and feel in my heart that I will still find a way to. The name "Shenandoah" is of unspecified Native American origin. It may have evolved from the Iroquois word for "Big Meadow", but probably the most popular belief is that it derives from a Native American expression for "Beautiful Daughters of the Stars", referring to the flow and tides of the Shenandoah River itself. 
The song "Oh Shenandoah" became popular with slaves and also with sailors as a sea shanty in the mid 1800s. Some folk believe the lyrics tell the story of a European trader in love with the daughter of an Indian Chief; others, of a Confederate soldier dreaming of his country home: Virginia was a key region during the American Civil War. I favour the theory that the singer is expressing his love for the moods of the great river itself: "Oh Shenandoah, I love your daughters". There are so many lovely versions of the song, but Van Morrison's with the Chieftains is especially epic and really tugs at my heartstrings.
The song features throughout my favourite Western, also called "Shenandoah", starring Jimmy Stewart as the widowed patriarch of a large Virginian family. Inspite of my mistrust and dislike of guns, I have a soft spot for some of the valiant, big-country, old cowboy films; and my old cowboy of choice would be Jimmy Stewart. The film is wonderfully evocative, essentially anti-war, pro-family and pro-faith. Native American faith finds Spirit in all things, all creatures and the elements. The Great Spirit, God, is viewed as the eternal animating force of the universe; therefore, there is divinity within everyone and everything in the universe. Thanks and praise have traditionally been offered to the crops harvested and the wildlife hunted for food and the unseen spirit world is ever-present.
Thank you for the prayer Anne; have a blessed and peaceful Christmas.

"Iroquois Prayer"

"We return thanks to our mother, the earth, for sustaining us.

We return thanks to the rivers and streams, which supply us with water. 

We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines for our care. 

We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters the beans and squashes, which give us life. 

We return thanks to the wind, which has moved the the air to banish all ills. 

We return thanks to the moon and the stars, which have given us their light when the sun sleeps. 

We return thanks to the sun, that looks upon the earth with a beneficent eye. 

Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit, in whom is embodied all goodness, who directs all things for the good of his children."

Sacred Instructions

Take care of Mother Earth and of all the other colours of man. 

Respect Mother Earth through all creation. 

Honour and support all life. 

 Be grateful for your life, and your survival.  

Love long and well, and express that love. 

Be humble. Humility is the gift of wisdom and understanding. 

Be kind with one's self as with others. 

Be honest with one's self and with others. 

Be responsible for these sacred instructions and share them with other nations.

"Certain things catch your eye,

But pursue only those

that capture your heart"

(Cherokee proverb)

"The sun would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears"

(Cherokee)

"If you must beg, knock only at large gates"

(Native American)

"Lose your temper and lose a friend, lie and you lose yourself"

(Apache proverb)

"Oh Shenandoah"  Van Morrison and The Chieftains

"The dead live on, in the hearts of those they live behind"

(Apache saying)

"May your mocassins make happy tracks in many snows,

and may the rainbow always be at your shoulder" 

(Cherokee blessing) 

"Yup"

The hour of grace we seek

"Tempus ad est gratiae, 

Hoc quod optabamus" 

("Now is the time of grace that we have longed for", from "Gaudete")

"What good is it that Christ was born 2,000 years ago if he is not born now in your heart?"

(Meister Eckhart)

This Sunday marks the third week of Advent. For much of the Christian Church’s history, it’s had a special name: “Gaudete Sunday". The traditions surrounding this Sunday go back as far as the 4th or 5th centuries, as does the Season of Advent itself. Advent, our preparation for Christmas, was originally a forty day penitential season, like Lent, something I only recently became aware of. “Gaudete Sunday” was the Advent counterpart to “ Laetrile Sunday,” which marked the mid-point in Lent.
On Gaudete Sunday, Advent shifts its focus, marked by a lighter mood and a heightened sense of joyous anticipation. The liturgical colours lighten as well. The priest usually wears rose-pink vestments, seen only on Gaudete and Laetare Sundays. On this day, we light the third candle of the Advent wreath, which is also rose-coloured, rather than purple.
The word “Gaudete” is Latin for “Rejoice.” In times such as these when the news is so grim, we might wonder where on earth, or elsewhere, God is. I hope we can still stop, in the midst of the trauma of late Christmas shopping and trying to work extra hours and the seasonal extended family complications, to take a breath and draw some comfort and peace from the simplicity of the first Christmas. Time to remember what a "gift" really is: what giving really implies; the huge part of receiving that is acceptance; that we can give and receive with good grace.
See, still there x

     "Gaudete" Steeleye Span

Massacre of the Innocents

The Massacre of the Innocents is a biblical narrative of infanticide, perpetrated by Herod the Great, appointed "King of the Jews" by the Romans. According to Matthew's gospel, Herod ordered the execution of all male babies and small children in and around the village of Bethlehem, to avoid losing his crown to a newborn Messiah. The Feast of the Holy Innocents is commemorated by most Christian churches on 28th December; many recognise these murdered babies as the first Christian martyrs.
Set in the heartland of New England, Connecticut is often called "The Constitution State"; it's colonial constitution of 1639 was the first in America, arguably the world. Yesterday, two weeks before the Feast of the Holy Innocents, and within sight of Christmas Day, twenty children between the ages of five and ten were among twenty eight people killed in the USA's most recent mass murder by an individual with firearms. The infants and their teachers at the Sandy Hook Elementary School, Newtown, Connecticut, were shot by a gunman just out of his teens. He was armed with at least three guns owned legally by his mother under the state's gun laws, apparently among the tightest in the USA today. A former pupil and a familiar face, he was "buzzed in" through the school's security system. His mother was a supply teacher at the school; he had already shot her and would later turn a gun on himself.
Last night, President Obama called for "meaningful action" on gun crime. The United States has about five percent of the total world population but her citizens own more than forty percent of the world's civilian-owned firearms. Repeatedly, polling has shown that a majority of Americans believe their constitution ensures their right to own a gun. 

This will be, for me, a short post. An unloaded gun may be viewed as a collectible, a piece of craftsmanship; a loaded gun may be called a deterrent, or protection, although some will only ever see a deterrent as a challenge. Guns are seriously purpose built, to fire at a target. We may never fully know why a twenty year old guy decided to kill innocents at his local school yesterday. But we know how he did it.
May they rest in peace.

"America is a country founded on guns. It's in our DNA."

(Brad Pitt)

"There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people."

(Howard Zinn)

"There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world."

(Kari Lynn)

"Abide With Me" Emeli Sande

An enterprise of stillness

"Prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has turned to stone."

(Thomas Merton)

Photo: Gigi, album

Some places really do seemed steeped in spirituality. Winchester Cathedral is a wonderfully historic place, in the heart of the city that was once England's capital. The cathedral stands on a site that has housed places of worship or religious learning for more than 1300 years, with a treasure trove of artefacts spanning eleven centuries. The cathedral's library contains the 12th century Winchester Bible and mythology and mysticism rub shoulders along the choir stalls, carved with flora, owls and monkeys, knights and dragons and Green Men.

In the crypt of Winchester Cathedral usually knee high in water, there resides a best loved piece of sculpture. "Sound II", by Catholic sculptor Antony Gormley, is a solitary figure standing in the middle of the crypt, apparently contemplating the water held in his cupped hands. I love Antony Gormley's figures, which include "The Angel of the North" at Gateshead and "Another Place" along the Merseyside shore, not only for their thought provoking situations but because of their typical mix of stoicism and soulfulness.Whenever I've managed to get to Winchester to see this statue, I seem to have come away with Paul Simon's words from "I Am A Rock" weaving through my head:     

"I have my books and my poetry to protect me: I am shielded in my armour;
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb; I touch no one and no one touches me."
The figure seems to be entombed, but does it signify a self-imposed isolation? 

Life-sized and fashioned from lead, the statue was created specifically with the regular flooding of the crypt in mind; during the rainier months, the water below the main body of the cathedral is usually two or three feet deep. Beautifully apt when you consider that the legendary archbishop and patron saint of Winchester, St Swithin of the forty day deluges, is encased and venerated in the church "upstairs". I'm fascinated that the water-bound figure is made from lead: elementary lead is very water-resilient and doesn't dissolve or react under normal conditions. However,  when lead does react within water, the water becomes toxic to the human body. I've often wondered if the figure is descending into the water or emerging from it. Now, I don't feel the necessity to define it either way: I feel the figure is an enterprise of stillness. It could be a figure of recollection, reason, or hope; it could be all three as the embodiment of Faith.
In a perfect blending of faith, art and technology, "Sound II" has been designed so that as the collected rainwater level rises to knee level, it pushes up and along an internal tube into the figure's chest and then pours out into the cupped hands. How many statements does this silent witness make? We should treasure our emotions but not choke on them. We should reflect on our sadness or failure without wallowing in it. The human body is nearly three quarters water. Water is critical to human proliferation and forms an essential part of our metabolism. We know that our world is up to seventy percent covered by water. In it's purity water should be odourless, tasteless, colourless; transparent as truth itself. Yet water is far from simply an innocuous and translucent life-support system. Living by the sea, I'm still amazed that the calming undulation of the water can swell and crash so suddenly. The most placid lake can take life in an instant. The power of water sustains and threatens, just like man; rather like religion.
When I've visited Winchester Cathedral before, I've found the crypt figure to be quite melancholic; this week, on what Simon and Garfunkel really would call "a winter's day, in a deep and dark December", I found it reassuring. It made me smile. I wanted my sister and brother-in-law to appreciate the beauty of "Sound II": my brother-in-law is an avowed atheist, yet he seemed moved by both the setting and the sculpture. He agreed that the figure could be praying or meditating, or simply reflecting. He could even be cleansing himself in oblivious solitude; I was once told by a monk that the figure could be John the Baptist, quietly ever-ready and waiting beneath the ritual, ceremony and visual celebration of the Church.
After some wrangling, I found that my brother-in-law could accept that, whatever his view of organised religions created and interpreted by men, faith itself is a naturally occurring force. I miss two friends in particular from my time working in social services in London; Dale, who would also call himself an atheist or even an anti-theist, and devoutly Muslim Rakib, who is raising his two babies according to his parents' very orthodox faith. I miss the heated discussions across the desks between those two, sometimes culminating in one or all of us laughing at something so profoundly insulting that it could only be hysterically puerile between friends. The fact that we could then get back on the council's phones or have a tea-break together is for me a singular demonstration of faith; whether it be Dale's faith in rationality and the human condition, Rakib's faith in the righteousness of his forefathers or my own all-singing, all-hugging and often wittering take on Christianity. It was (and is) friendship founded in the colour and humour of differences, rather than the starkness of division.
Both my friend Dale and my brother-in-law would stress that devotion to any religion is a sign of weakness, a need to affiliate and be absorbed into something "big" for definition and protection. My own Irish Catholic background has shown me that the clannish tradition in most organised religions can easily lend itself to bigotry and sectarianism. The current violence in Belfast seems to centre on the hoisting and defiling of flags, team colours almost, rather than any theological argument or historical injustice. But I still feel that faith can be hugely resilient and empowering. It's hard to cut kindness or courage into little pieces, even with the sharpest sword. A word of mercy resonates longer and louder than the most potent explosion. You can't burn anyone's faith away at any stake: the ashes of whatever you sought to destroy are carried like hope on the breeze, to be scattered further than you could ever foresee.
I've always felt that the Simon and Garfunkel song was a study in melancholic irony: no-one is an island, made of rock. You can dig your own well by hand to irrigate your particular patch of desert, but someone else will already have invented the bucket. And you will dig in faith that the water is there.

* A Happy and Blessed Holiday-time to Dale and Rakib and those they love*

“Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, 

I will be exalted in the earth." 

(Psalm 46:10)

" I Am A Rock"  Simon and Garfunkel

"No Man Is An Island"
(John Donne)
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were;
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

"What I wear is pants. What I do is live. How I pray is breathe."
(Thomas Merton)

...as though no-one is watching

Photo: Gigi, album

Visitors to my fally-down house in Brighton are greeted by an assortment of eccentricities, even as they proceed down my little hallway. Among these is a small woodcut that serves as a mission statement from the householder. It's an adaptation of a much-loved verse: often accredited to Mark Twain, one of my favourite authors, it's also been credited to Father Alfred de Souza and William W. Purkey.

A couple of days ago, my friend Coral's angelic but totally precocious four year old daughter Ronnie was pirouetting around in an empty room, only pausing to curtsey to her unseen public. She didn't miss a beat when I asked her why she was dancing: "Because Nobody's watching, Gigi!"
When I was slightly older than Ronnie, I would frequently embarrass my parents by singing all the way along the aisles in Safeway supermarket - for some reason, "Puppet on a String" was a huge favourite - and by shouting "Ding ding! All 'board!" at every stop on the old number 94 buses through Lewisham. Nowadays of course, I wouldn't dream of bursting into a Eurovision classic in the middle of Aldis: but is that really progress?
I'm often told that various aspects of me, from my voice to my clothes to my sense of humour, are childlike and therefore un-befitting someone of my actual years. Until quite recently, I used to be insulted, but now I understand it as something rather precious. I love Mark Twain's verse because it perfectly sums up how I hoped to live my life: not in selfish hedonism or at the expense of others, but with a lack of vanity and an essential feeling of joy and optimism. After another year of whingeing about myself and most people around me, I realise I've fallen far short of that goal again. We generally tend to disregard others' opinions until we question how they're regarding us. I've promised Ronnie that I'll go dancing with her out on The Level park when the weather is warmer, something she'll hold me to with the fluffy tenacity of a four year old. My other resolution for the New Year should surely be to pay more attention to the writings on my own wall.
Lee Ann Womack's song "I Hope You Dance" is a country favourite of mine and a regular number to warble in the shower, only witnessed by Ginger the-cat-from-next-door and God. Apart from that, Nobody. Why does Ginger the cat insist on sitting at my bathroom door when I have a shower? Well, he's a Brighton cat. Maybe he's read Mark Twain.

"I hope you Dance"  Lee Ann Womack (ft. her daughters)

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, 

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger; 

May you never take one single breath for granted, 

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed. 

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean; 

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. 

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance 

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, 

I hope you dance" 

Maiden born and made

"All that was mixed and reconciled in Thee 

Of mother's love with maiden purity" 

(from "The Virgin", William Wordsworth)

On 8th December, Christians respect the Solemnity of The Immaculate Conception; one misconception non-Christians may have of this feast day is that it's the celebration of the virgin conception of Christ. The feast is actually a recognition that Mary the Mother of God was born to St Anne in a state of grace, conceived and preserved from original sin: William Wordsworth beautifully depicted Mary as: "Our tainted nature's solitary boast".
While there is no suggestion in scripture that Mary was conceived in anything other than the usual manner, Anne herself is generally described as being childless until her later years: indeed she is Jesus' grandmother. Somewhat overlooked in Christian mythology, Anne, (from the Hebrew "Hannah", meaning "grace"), is also revered in Islam and mentioned in the Qu'ran as Mary's mother and a highly spiritual woman. Islamic legend holds that she prayed for a son after watching a bird nurturing her young. Against all odds, she conceived, bearing a daughter who would be blessed among women; and who would bear and nurture the Son of Man.
The patron saint of housewives and unmarried women: I like St Anne! (She's also the patron saint of grandmothers and women in labour; and, rather more randomly, of cabinet makers and miners...)

"The Immaculate Conception"

A dew-drop of the darkness born,

Wherein no shadow lies;

The blossom of a barren thorn,

Whereof no petal dies;

A rainbow beauty passion-free,

Wherewith was veiled divinity.

(John Banister Tabb)

"The Holly and the Ivy"  Annie Lennox

The Colour Red

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

(Mahatma Gandhi)

Today, I pinned on a small red ribbon with frayed ages and a rusty little safety pin with a great deal of reflection and also some pride, even though I would be spending most of the day at home. I have done this on the same date with the same red ribbon for many years now. 1st December each year has been World AIDS Day since 1988. HIV / AIDS (Human Immunodeficiency Virus infection / Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) was first clinically observed some years before, in 1981. In 1990, the New York based "Visual AIDS Artists Caucus" created a visual symbol to demonstrate compassion for people living with AIDS and those caring for them. Inspired by the yellow ribbons honouring American soldiers serving in the Gulf war, they chose the colour red for its:"connection to blood and the idea of passion -- not only anger, but love." It may sound trite, even odd if I say that I have a tender spot for AIDS: becoming involved with people affected by, living and dying with AIDS changed my little world and made me a stronger and, I believe, nicer person.
The Terrence Higgins Trust is a UK-based charity that was formed in London in 1982, named after one of the first named people to die from AIDS disease in the UK. It was formed by his partner and friends in an attempt to both personalise and publicise the disease. Many years ago, I was a voluntary carer and fundraiser with THT after my best friend at that time, a gentle and funny gay male nurse named John, took his own life to escape the stigma of what was then a deadly diagnosis. He was 21; he had apparently contracted the virus from his first and only boyfriend.
As a carer, I helped in a donated "safe house" in South London, where shelter, support and eventually palliative care was offered to up to four people at a time living with AIDS; where family was unaware, absent or unsympathetic. Treatment was less effective then and awareness about the condition and it's transmission was tainted by scandal and bigotry. My day-job colleagues didn't want to know exactly what I did in "that house" and my mother and sister couldn't understand why I did it. We fed and bathed, medicated and cleaned, emptied bed-pans. We were there. I drooped after a couple of years and following the deaths of all those I had been helping to look after; many house volunteers had been there longer and were still there when I left. It was at times heart-wrenching and scary; to this day, it remains the best, finest thing I've ever done.
In most parts of the developed world, HIV / AIDS is no longer the graphically painful but rapid death sentence it once was. Yet AIDS  is still a global pandemic: by 2010, around 35 million people had contracted the disease worldwide. Since it's recognition in 1981, more than 32 million men, women and children across the globe have died from what was initially dubbed "a gay plague" by the media. It's estimated that 3.4 million of those currently infected are under fifteen years of age. South Africa presently has the largest population of people living with HIV / AIDS, nearly six million. In sub-Saharan Africa, life expectancy in the worst affected countries has fallen drastically: from 65 to 35 years in Botswana. South East Asia is the second most affected region, estimating at least 4 million cases. Infections in the Middle East and North Africa have risen by more than a third over the past decade, with a notable rise in new infections also recorded in eastern Europe. In the USA and also across the UK, it's believed that a quarter of all those infected are unaware of their status. AIDS is the sixth leading cause of death among men and women aged 25 - 44 in the States. It may take you 10 minutes to read this blog entry; every 10 minutes, someone in the States is infected by the HIV virus.
Many campaign groups say the original stigma associated with HIV / AIDS remains as big a problem as the disease itself. In China, there are reports of  some hospitals turning away people with HIV infections and refusing surgery for patients who test positive for the virus. In vulnerable communities such as Ethiopia and Zambia, reported abuse of people living with HIV / AIDS remains high. Nearly half of all countries do not have laws in place that protect people living with the virus from discrimination. The AIDS Healthcare Foundation in Nigeria admits that anti-AIDS bigotry is still rife in a country where the disease is a taboo, commonly seen as a death sentence as "punishment". It is a fact that there is still no cure for AIDS: it is always fatal without treatment.
In the States, most patients who survive many years after diagnosis do so because of the availability of a combination of highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART). The antiretrovirals suppress the replication of the virus in the body, allowing the helper blood cells precious time to rebuild the immune system. As a suppressant rather than a cure, HAART has been very effective for the past decade. However, the virus can become resistant to any one combination of HAART medications at any time, although genetic tests are largely available to determine whether an HIV strain is resistant to a particular drug. New medicines are still being developed to treat HAART resistant HIV. And treatment with HAART as a collection of different medications has it's own collection of complications and side effects: diarrhea, nausea, sickness and general weakness. When used over an extended period of time, these medications also increase the risk of heart attack. Of course, people responding to antiretroviral treatment can still pass on the virus through sex or shared needles; to date, there is still no vaccine against HIV. Ultimately, prevention truly is the only cure at this time.
In 2011, the United Nations signed the Political Declaration on HIV/AIDS, as a strategy to achieve universal access to HIV prevention, treatment, and care by 2015. The document marks an historic milestone on the road-map to the beginning of the end of AIDS. We need to reach 15 million people living with HIV with antiretroviral treatment by 2015: this has to be achievable; HAART therapy has already saved an estimated 14 million life years in low and middle income countries. However, around 7 million people known to be eligible for this treatment are still unable to access it. Recognised foreign aid has traditionally been the major source of funding to fight the epidemic worldwide, but for the first time in history, the UN has reported significant domestic investments by lower income countries to address their own HIV / AIDS situations. Each World Aids Day should be a time of remembrance but also of celebration of any progress and acceleration of response in recent years. We have to believe that ending this epidemic is as feasible as it is certainly affordable. 

Progressive medications can help the human body to heal and maybe even protect itself from this virus, but we also need to eliminate the enduring stigma and discrimination against people living with and affected by the disease. Fear and ignorance continue to undermine efforts to provide services to prevent, diagnose, and treat HIV/AIDS. Current restrictions on the entry, stay, and residence of people living with HIV in many countries lack scientific basis and are often relics of the media-fueled terror dating from early in the epidemic. This is a virus, a disease; as essentially associated with blood as anemia, sickle cell and leukemia, as identifiable with "behaviours" as diabetes, lung cancer and heart disease. It's been repeated endlessly over the past decades that the virus itself is a stranger to discrimination or preference. Personally, I can vividly recall pushing a beautiful but visibly fragile young man in a wheelchair to local shops only to find that ordinary people with their children in tow and shopping in hand felt moved to spit at both of us and wish him a speedier death. I pray this no longer happens on the streets of south London; I extend my prayers to the other corners of our world where such distortion of the human spirit is a daily occurrence.

*For John C, Campbell, Carl, Eddie, Hayden, James and Paolo and the others I  was privileged to have known for that short while*

"AIDS occupies such a large part in our awareness because of what it has been taken to represent. It seems the very model of all the catastrophes privileged populations feel await them."

(Susan Sontag)

"The global HIV/AIDS epidemic is an unprecedented crisis that requires an unprecedented response. In particular it requires solidarity -- between the healthy and the sick, between rich and poor, and above all, between richer and poorer nations. We have 30 million orphans already. How many more do we have to get, to wake up?"

(Kofi Annan)

www.worldaidsday.org

www.tht.org.uk 

www.avert.org/children.htm 

www.one.org 

susshivchap@gmail.com

"One"  U2

"We're one, but we're not the same;
We get to carry each other
Carry each other"
(Paul Hewson / Bono)